Hey. How you’ve been? I know it’s been just five days since we last legitimately talked in any shape or form and I know that you won’t probably read this, but I need to type this out.

You told me that it was better if we parted in our own ways because you didn’t want to hurt me. Although I did not recognize at that time, it is a legitimate point. Without a doubt. I cannot deny that to be false because it seems logical, rational….

But my heart disagrees. It’s been five days, just five days. And I already miss you so much. I’m honestly devastated still, not going to lie, I’m literally falling to pieces by this point. It just doesn’t seem like it because I don’t let it bite me when I’m at school. I just hide behind that ever-so-happy face of mine.

I still am extremely sad. Sigh. I just don’t know what to do without you anymore. I’m hoping for that glimmer of hope, that slightest chance of possibility that…. you know. You might have moved on from me already, and anything I say or do might possibly not get you back. You’d say, just give it a week, a month… but I felt the same inside as I have the last four days. It’s unchanging.

You have to understand, it’s not you who have or will hurt me. During this past week, I realized really how much I needed you. The absence of you is killing me. I know in the past one of the things that I kind of struggled with was being responsive. You’d tell me I’d always look depressed and appeared unresponsive with everything…. that was only so because I let my feelings take over. Like for example, sometimes I was jealous that you’d talk to your friends more than you’d talk to me. However, the day before you and I had the talk, honestly, I changed. I realized how my feelings was taking over me and how my feelings were affecting others…. and how bad that was. Honestly, I changed on that one day, but I wish you’d give me a chance to demonstrate how much better I am now. You’d be surprised… as am I to this day.

Which is why I’ll conclude this post on this note: unlike my previouses, I will be willing to fight for you back. You’ve honestly changed my life but I took that for granted. Not anymore. It’s about time I thank you back for how you’ve helped me.

…I just need another chance.